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I feel like I have a lot to say all of a sudden, and it was all so there when I was washing the dishes, composing in my head as I scrubbed, the thoughts of words making the task far more painless than usual. And now as I sit in the darkening living room, dishwasher whirring, frogs peeping I am stuck, words are flat and I am not sure I have a book in me after all. But I was so sure all day, so where could it have gone?

I was talking to a mom in rural Oregon today, talking about our kids, resources, services, yadda yadda and we finally - after about 5 minutes - knew each other well enough to admit that the whole system is kind of bullshit, that our kids are just fine and not in need of fixing after all, that the services we find ourselves advocating for have little to do with who our kids are and what they need, that there is pressure to put our kids with a label through stuff we would never consider for our other kids, in the name of helping them, but really with the hope of reshaping them. She mentioned a book she had come across that addressed the subject reasonably well, but from a terribly dry and academic viewpoint. And I realized that might be the missing book, the thing that needs to find its way to being said. A book for parents, for friends, for the (gasp, dare I dare?) general public that says that my kid is whole, is who she is, will find her place in the world whether or not the world makes room, but maybe, just maybe, it would be good for said world if it decided to take a stab at making room, instead of all these repeated and fruitless stabs at fixing my kid.
It's not a new subject, it's not a terribly novel idea, but I am not sure it's been said in an accessibly enough way for folks outside the disability circle to get. I came across this tonight on a blog that I used to read but have stepped away from for awhile:

"Years ago I was told, by someone mentoring me, 'The most important thing to understand is what their limitations are.' And it's taken me a long time to accept that. I agree, wholeheartedly, now with that statement. Because, for the most part their limitations are our low expectations. I get that there is disability. I get that disability means something. But it doesn't mean what many think it means. It never means that learning is impossible. It never means that participation is a futile pursuit. It never means that time given is time wasted." (http://davehingsburger.blogspot.com/2011/05/she-said-goodbye.html)

It gets part of the way there, but not quite all the way. But now it's all muddled and there are so many threads and I have to sort through them and really I just need to go to bed.